Missed Connections

April 27, 2010

Maybe I shouldn’t be sharing this info, but since I’m no longer doing the online dating thing I figure it’s safe: I always reply to people that send me messages who have put some thought into them. Even if I’m not interested. I guess I just think it’s polite to respond when someone truly put effort into a message (and yes, I can tell). On that note, I also think it’s polite to tell someone that I’ve been conversing with, that I’m no longer interested if I’m not. Instead of dropping off the face of the planet.

The first time I did this in my most recent bout of online dating was last summer: it was incredibly obvious to me that we’d run out of things to talk about … after maybe 5 messages back and forth. So I said I wasn’t feeling a “connection”, thanked him for the messages and wished him good luck.

I received a response later that day. An irate response. This dude was furious with me (for being polite and upfront), because “you can’t tell if there’s a connection online.” You HAVE to meet face-to-face. That’s apparently the only way to tell if you’d like someone enough to continue associating with them. Were you all aware of this? I wasn’t. Jeez. I had probably made a grievous error losing out on this gem.

I get up on my soapbox and begin typing. I tell the guy that I’m sorry he disagrees with me, but I do feel that you can tell. (And though I didn’t say this to him, I should mention that me saying “I’m not feeling a connection” means I think you’re boring. Or a jerk. Or maybe I think you need to work on your spelling. But in this case, boring) I then mention that it’s my prerogative on whether or not I choose to meet someone and he didn’t get to dictate that just because he thinks everyone needs to meet him to appreciate him. I finish off by repeating that I am sorry he feels the way he does, but it doesn’t change anything.

I click “send” and am greeted with a message saying that this user has blocked me and I cannot send him any messages.

Did I mention that I don’t tend to feel a connection with people that fly off the handle and generally act like 6 year olds? Probably should’ve put that in my profile.


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