Online Dating: pt 3

April 23, 2010

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before… boy meets girl online. Boy asks out girl. Boy takes girl to a restaurant for brunch. Boy realizes the restaurant is more expensive than he planned. When the bill comes, boy uses the classic line, “Do you want me to pay for this, or will you judge me if we split it?” Girl obviously says they can split it. Boy qualifies the statement, “Normally I’d pay but I’ve been spending a lot of money lately.” Boy and girl leave the restaurant, boy suggests they “walk off” brunch by strolling around the local shops. Against better judgement at this point, girl agrees. Boy and girl go into a high-end clothing store, where boy tries on some shirts and ends up purchasing a $100 dress shirt. Girl’s head explodes.

Let’s go through and dissect exactly where Boy went wrong. While it may seem self-evident to some, clearly it isn’t to all or this date would’ve gone differently.

Mistake #1– Not researching the restaurant. Let’s assume Boy is on a budget. And I feel this goes for guys and gals– if you do the invitin’, you should expect to the payin’.  If you’re broke, don’t suggest a meal. Get coffee, take a walk around the river valley. And girls, if you’re broke, do the guy a favour and suggest a cheaper alternative.

Mistake #2– Phrasing it all wrong. Boy made girl feel obligated to chip in.. and I’m not saying she shouldn’t chip in, but c’mon… how does one respond to that? Dear Boy, for future reference, everything one does on a first date is being judged. Yes I am judging you. You’re judging me. That’s what this is about.

Mistake #3– Qualifying being a cheap-ass. Dude. Just don’t explain. It makes you sound even lamer. It ALSO gives Girl the impression that her company was not worth the price of breakfast. Ouch.

Mistake #4– Girl agrees to spending more time with Boy. After brunch was paid for, she should’ve instigated parting ways. At this point she had all of the information she needed to know this was a dud of a date. Cut your losses!

Mistake #5– The icing on the cake: buying an expensive piece of clothing in front of Girl, after giving an excuse about not paying for brunch when he “normally would have”.

Guys, first impressions are important… If you treat a date like this (heck, if you treated a friend like this I’d be pissed), do not expect to ever see her again. One could argue that this was in fact Boy’s plan. And Girl would not have thought twice about it, except that Boy instant messaged Girl later on to ask her what she thought of him.

Mistake #6– Girl not telling Boy exactly what she thought of him.

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